In-Stable
I'm worried.
I'm worried about the riots. I'm worried that even if this is the end of this round, what will come will be worse.
Because, I'm worried that I live in the most unstable place imagineable.
I'm worried about the "expats" who cornered me at the for foreigners, by foreigners lit fest to crow that it's just like Old Shanghai - as if it was a good thing. (Sorry for the one of you who is taken out of context here.) Yeah, because neocolonial entitlement and oblivion while Rome - or Shanghia, or L!asa - burns is such a good thing.
I'm worried about the inflation, the cost of living, the spiraling food and housing prices, and especially the latter feuled by foreigners (including overseas Chinese) who have injected the American, European and Hong Kong bubbles into Shanghai. I'll take the brown air particles anytime over that sort of pollution. Walking home from an interview today, I glaced over property listings in several windows - rental prices are in many cases up 200-500% from a year ago. And maybe it's only coincidence the throngs of gawky-eyed whities with *mug me* on their foreheads that I simultaneously see wandering by - but maybe not.
I'm worried about the crackdown on visas that is particularly aimed at small-time, self-employed operators like myself. Deportation has me awake at night, almost as much as...
I'm worried about the mass slaughter of cats in Beijing, to "clean it up" for the oilympics, and especially that it might come here and claim my Silver Lining. Which would make me kill the people trying to hurt him, and thus be executed myself.
I am worried about my health, which has been a phlegmy mess all year, first the flu and bronchitis, now a chronic cold from the China lung.
I worry about my book, which is behind schedule, about my weight loss going slower than anticipated, that it may be easier and more probable that I will really truly fail than that I will ever really truly be as I want to be.
So I proceed to call up Gym Boy, for the first time this year. I...have been meaning too, and tried once before but his phone was out of range. But, I was meaning to finally formally break it off - in fact I want to set him up with my friends; instead, it is reassuring to have someone fussing that I have been sick - why didn't I tell him, he'd have brought me drugs and soup? It is nice to have someone who wants to come over, clean your house in his undies, and cook you things. Not to mention be a buffer and translator between the sometimes craziness that is China. The thing about Gym Boy, is even when we've stopped fucking, even if he's with someone else, he's a good guy and is there for me. Which - is nice, and which I'm not sure I could say for Jifu, let along Yaya or Ah Ren.
I'm worried about the riots. I'm worried that even if this is the end of this round, what will come will be worse.
Because, I'm worried that I live in the most unstable place imagineable.
I'm worried about the "expats" who cornered me at the for foreigners, by foreigners lit fest to crow that it's just like Old Shanghai - as if it was a good thing. (Sorry for the one of you who is taken out of context here.) Yeah, because neocolonial entitlement and oblivion while Rome - or Shanghia, or L!asa - burns is such a good thing.
I'm worried about the inflation, the cost of living, the spiraling food and housing prices, and especially the latter feuled by foreigners (including overseas Chinese) who have injected the American, European and Hong Kong bubbles into Shanghai. I'll take the brown air particles anytime over that sort of pollution. Walking home from an interview today, I glaced over property listings in several windows - rental prices are in many cases up 200-500% from a year ago. And maybe it's only coincidence the throngs of gawky-eyed whities with *mug me* on their foreheads that I simultaneously see wandering by - but maybe not.
I'm worried about the crackdown on visas that is particularly aimed at small-time, self-employed operators like myself. Deportation has me awake at night, almost as much as...
I'm worried about the mass slaughter of cats in Beijing, to "clean it up" for the oilympics, and especially that it might come here and claim my Silver Lining. Which would make me kill the people trying to hurt him, and thus be executed myself.
I am worried about my health, which has been a phlegmy mess all year, first the flu and bronchitis, now a chronic cold from the China lung.
I worry about my book, which is behind schedule, about my weight loss going slower than anticipated, that it may be easier and more probable that I will really truly fail than that I will ever really truly be as I want to be.
So I proceed to call up Gym Boy, for the first time this year. I...have been meaning too, and tried once before but his phone was out of range. But, I was meaning to finally formally break it off - in fact I want to set him up with my friends; instead, it is reassuring to have someone fussing that I have been sick - why didn't I tell him, he'd have brought me drugs and soup? It is nice to have someone who wants to come over, clean your house in his undies, and cook you things. Not to mention be a buffer and translator between the sometimes craziness that is China. The thing about Gym Boy, is even when we've stopped fucking, even if he's with someone else, he's a good guy and is there for me. Which - is nice, and which I'm not sure I could say for Jifu, let along Yaya or Ah Ren.
