Dear Ah Ren, [yes, he's back, briefly]
Sometimes in a certain light you look to me like home. But then the the shadows, the colors, my mood or your behavior shifts, and you then transform again into a stranger. And I feel embarassed, as if I had 认错人, mistaken you for someone else.
I am immensely fond of you, but am never entirely certain whether I know you at all.
It is repeatedly awkward, I kick myself for not just ignoring it as I know I should, but then the light shifts yet again, or you flash that tiny hint of a quiet smile that you have. Maybe, probably, I should be less easily accessible and accomodating. But I believe the men who want such intelligence insulting artifice desire and deserve the sort of relationship that does not interest me.
Nonetheless, it is nice to have you pass through: you are unusual and exquisite, and you make me smile. Your presence in my world is always quite welcome, and well worth the occassional headache. Wherever you go, wherever you finally find your home, know you have in Shanghai a friend and community of at least one.
Love you,
Vixen
